I walk in and, like the rusty chords of an old lift shaft, nerve endings shudder down my back  

Brain starts rattling like a speeding train on a rusty track 

And I felt that crack  

that crack 

Like a lightning tear 

Like an unanswered prayer 

And you didn’t even make the bed 

the bed sheets peel away from the mattress Like old paint  

It’s a mess 

I feel faint 

Tight chest  


I lift up my heart where it fell last night, collecting dust, 

Its heavy like lead and starting to rust. 


Sit. Screw it back into place. 

Feel it rattling at that furious pace 

Smooth over the frown that’s consuming my face 

Feel a trace of memory echo through my ears  

The trace of your voice beside me on new year. 

That question that you didn’t have to ask, but you did 

I Paused to think before presenting you with my only fear  

As we lay in this bed 

Don’t disappear 

Just please don’t disappear.